Cracking the Shell

I used to write these things almost daily, now it seems like if it’s every two months it’s a lot. Some of that is due my perceived lack of audience, but then as with everything else one must feel content to do things for your own benefit. If others can somehow benefit as an extension of that, so much the better. The other reason is the past few months has been a period of almost constant change, evaluation, re-evaluation, and self-discovery.

Without getting into too many specifics, I’ve been forced to take a good hard look at my life which I think everyone should now and then. As you know, one of my biggest “causes” is putting forth the idea that one should not remain static and robotically move through life as if there were no deeper meaning to it. The result of that process (if there ever can be one end result), is that I was decidedly not happy with some dynamics and took steps to change that. Besides the confines of my home, I had been content to basically shut down and shut out a lot of things and especially people. Scenarios had presented themselves that made me realize how deeply lonely I was in that mode, yet still fighting the “Introverted extrovert” personality I seem to have. Basically, I enjoy people but I enjoy them in short bursts.

I’ve recently made it a point to be a bit more social and joined a local organization for men to get together once a month and do “manly things” such as Bar-B-Que,  drink beer and talk about things such as Bar-B-Queing and drinking beer…It’s fun, met some nice people and it occurs just enough to keep me wanting to come back for more. I never really got the hang of having a big circle of friends that I would be busy doing this or that with every weekend so this suits me just fine.

Another thing I’ve been focusing on lately is philosophy. Steve Martin had a routine years ago about how going to college to study math and science fills your head with a lot of largely useless facts, while religion is a bit arbitrary. But philosophy will teach you just enough to screw you up for the rest of your life…While I wouldn’t go that far, I will say that I’ve been finding it fulfilling to find an outlet for new ideas as well as fine tuning some that I’ve had for a long time without really knowing how to classify them. I’ve been trying to work on that perennial problem of balancing work, home, and personal satisfaction and while I have a long way to go, I can say that progress has definately been made.



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