Being the Best

Ok, here’s the thing; I have been watching and listening to Andres Segovia a lot lately and having read his biography know that the man used to practice 8-10 hours a day. Every day.  Currently watching Julie & Julia and know that Julia Child was so pissed that the men in her Le Cordon Bleu class was mocking the way she prepped onions, that she bought a  20 LB bag and chopped every single one over one afternoon until she mastered it. Been watching the Olympics on and off and know that those kids also practice all day long and physically injure themselves in their quest to be the best. I read about historians who devote their whole lives to a single topic and have an encyclopedic knowledge of their chosen subject.

This is why I’ll never be great at anything….

At this point in my life I realize that even though I have aspirations and some degree of talent in a few disciplines, despite my passions for such things as cooking and music, I will never amount to anything that anyone would consider “the best”. What I am is in what I guess you’d call middle management. Having been in mid to upper management, I find that I hate it due to the people factor. At the end of the day, all you end up being is a babysitter for people less competent than yourselves. I cook of course and like to think I’m pretty good at it, at least better than the average “home cook”, but nothing that would really blow people away despite how much I push myself to be better with each and every dish. I still play guitar from time to time after having done it for a living for a while, but I will never achieve the level of competence that even the average 13-year-old You Tuber has reached. Oh, and I used to fancy myself a writer; having about half a book sitting in a binder for the past 15 years and a few published pieces, but all I can muster now is the very occasional blog that is decidedly weak at best.

Not sure where all this leaves me. Nice to be the typical Jack-of-all-Trades master of none, but there has always been something in me that says I’m supposed to be an expert at something, or something that I am known for or at the very least, doing something I love and getting paid for it; the true American Dream. Thing is, it’s not that I’m not passionate or interested in my work. I find myself working 10-12 hour days and still talking enthusiastically about transportation and international trade, but maybe that’s just good work ethic.

In the meantime, I guess I just keep doing the things I like to do and hope it either pays off in some way, or at least figure out what I want to be when I grow up.